Alex's story of Freya's birth

We went to sleep on February 19th at 9pm. I was woken up by strong contractions at 10.30 that felt very different to ones I'd been having almost all day. My husband, Justin, and I got up after an hour or so and, without acknowledging to each other that we were in business, rang my mum and started putting up the pool. I continued to labour until 1.30ish when we rang my main midwife, Becky.

Becky arrived and examined me and I was told that I was in pre-labour as I was still only 2-3cm dilated (officially labour starts at 4cm). This felt so unfair! My cervix was now completely effaced (flattened) now though, and so Becky said it was almost certain that Freya would arrive some time today, the 20th February. She showed us the position of Freya's head in relation to my cervix using a toy as a dummy:

Before reassuring me and leaving for some sleep at 3am, Becky placed Justin and mum under strict instructions to 'tag-team' and get some rest. She told me that the next time I saw her I wouldn't be chatting to her in between contractions, instead I'd be listening to my body and be really quiet. I had no idea what to expect- all I knew was that I was already in a lot of pain! Becky helped me into to pool and Justin joined me in there until mum got up at 5am. I can't really remember much of this- I was floating around in the pool enjoying the warm water, dim lighting and chilled music, dozing in between contractions that were getting increasingly stronger.

Mum did the 5-7am shift, a fact that Justin's very pleased about, as this is when I really started feeling the burn. I was finding controlling my breathing really difficult during contractions so I developed a technique of 'breast stroking' through them, diving under water and blowing out, then gulping air in as I surfaced.

At 7am Justin rang Becky again who reassured him that I was doing fine. By now I was making quite a lot of noise but the breast stroke coupled with reassurance from mum and Justin helped a lot.

Becky was phoned again at 8am as I was now pleading for her to come, saying "I can't do it any more", "help me!" etc and asking for pain relief. She arrived soon after, saw me "flailing around" in the pool and got me out for some dry-land contractions.

I really calmed down after this- I think my contractions had started to be less effective in the water (I had been in there for 6 hours now!) and Becky reassured me after an internal that I was now at 6-7cm and doing brilliantly by myself. After realising how much I'd already done, I realised that yes, I could do it on my own, and stopped asking for pain relief. It only took another 2 hours' worth of dry land contractions to fully dilate and for my body to start feeling the need to push. The contractions had completely changed from burning pain spreading from my pubic line round to my back to a real, definite 'pushing' sensation, similar to when you're half way through a poo and it pushes itself out!

By now it was 10am and I returned to the pool. I remember everything being really calm and fairly quiet- we'd had the chilled out music playing all night and it felt lovely now it was daylight, too. I remember opening my eyes and being surprised by the fog outside and at how steamed up the windows were.

Becky kept a check of Freya's heartbeat every 10 minutes or so:

…and then I started to push.

Justin helped me by holding my hand and encouraging me. I kept my eyes shut for almost all of this last stage of labour. At times Becky would come and talk to me, asking me to follow her instructions and concentrate. To do this she would come up close to my face and speak really firmly and ask me to grunt if I understood what she'd said. I think this is really important- when in that final stage I felt as if I was in a tunnel, with Becky's voice and the movements of my body being the only things there. All the other stuff, people moving around, noise, light, the pool, my position, all melted into the background. Had Becky not have really directed her voice and spoken loudly, I'm not sure it would have cut through all the other stuff. I'd imagine this is when other women start to panic- they don't feel secure and guided.

When the baby's head started crowning Becky told me to feel inside. It was so amazing, touching my baby's head. I could feel her hair and remember being relieved she had some! A few minutes after this it REALLY started to hurt, in a kind of burning, stretching way. I was sure the head was out, but Becky told me it kept coming out then going back in. I remember feeling (and maybe saying) how unfair it was.

By now Nicky, my second midwife, had arrived.

When Freya's head was ready to be born, I had to breathe through my contractions to slow the process and just let my uterus push her out. I managed this for a couple but then the urge to push overwhelmed me and for just a moment I lost concentration and pushed. All three midwives shouted for me to breathe but it was too late: with a big push and a loud, scary shout from me, Freya's head was out. You can see the blood from my tear* in the next photo. Apparently Justin turned a funny shade of grey at me shouting. Becky told him it was ok, and to come round to catch his daughter.

Freya's body was born in one more push, and she tumbled out and into her Daddy's arms. He passed her through my legs and I brought her up slowly with Becky's help.

I remember crying and saying "look what we made!" to Justin, and my mum being in floods of tears.

She was perfect: all round and podgy, and covered in vernix. She was a funny grey-mauve colour, and took a minute to look around and take in her surroundings before letting out a cough and taking her first breath.

After about 30 minutes of cuddling my daughter I was getting uncomfortable as the contractions to push my placenta out had started. Becky clamped Freya's cord once really close to her tummy, and again a couple of centimetres out. Justin concentrated hard to cut the (surprisingly tough) cord between the two clamps.

While my new family snuggled on the sofa (Freya lying against Justin's naked chest for skin-to-skin contact, with an electric blanket over her) I very quickly and easily delivered my placenta, by pulling on the cord whilst pushing from inside. It didn't hurt at all. Lots of blood now came out (as can be seen in the next photo).

The proud Daddy.

This next photo really shows how I felt in the moments after giving birth: elation, excitement, exhaustion, love, happiness, pride.

And this is how we were left…

Afterthoughts *Note on my tear: when pregnant, I was really worried about tearing, and what would happen if I did. Would I have to go to hospital for stitches? How long would it take to heal? Would it be agonising to the point that I couldn't look after my baby properly? The reality is absolutely nothing to worry about. I had a very straight 2cm long tear that, once Freya was out, closed by itself. If I was in hospital, I would have been stitched due to its size. I found, however, that it had healed all by itself in less than a fortnight.